Journaling Matters: Personal Journaling

Journaling matters a great deal in my life. I would not be the woman I am not if not for journaling.

As I have taken time to reflect on my life over the last year in particular, I've come to realize something. I have not journaled to the degree I wanted or to the depth I need.

Then again, if I am completely honest, I would have to admit I have not done so in 11.5 years.

Wow. What an in-your-face acknowledgment.

For the record, I have not realized this, or put it to words until now, in this moment, as I write this blog post. When I started this blog post, it was to let you know how much journaling means to me. But, I see it's metamorphosized into something bigger. I am being authentic with you--so you know how everyone has their struggles. No one is perfect. And life sure isn't fair and never has been and never will be fair.

I have journaled. Yes. I have journaled a great deal at times, and not so much at other times.

However, I allowed what I thought was a dream sidetrack me from what was truly important in my life. (Pardon me as I stop and re-read what I've typed so far. It's quite profound. This is an AHA moment. It's a time of conviction, eye-opening, and dream adjustment. It's a change in my overall point-of-view. In other words, this is a HUGE life-changing moment for me as I become aware of some truths I have not vocalized or even realized--in my journal or aloud.)

By the way, yes. As I journal, I will often times go back and re-read what I have journaled so that it penetrates deeper. So I can allow myself to chew on the new discoveries. So I can be changed because of what I have written--and been told by God.

Also, you will see I violate all sorts of grammar and writing rules as I journal. I write for impact and not to impress anyone. (As I publish, it's another thing.) Also, on this blog, I want to share the rawness with you--not be something I am not. My journaling has flaws.

I make mistakes. I am human.

But, my journaling transforms me more into the woman who lives her passions and is: A memory-maker prayerful wife, and journalkeeper.

Okay... Now that I got sidetracked... and I tend to do that when I journal--and have to bring myself back to the heart of the matter.

I think fiction has been a way to sidetrack me from living my true dream and passion--from God's purpose.

That's why I stopped taking place in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). That's also why I decided to write memoirs, and books on how to journal, rather than fiction.

I recommitted to journaling, and teaching journaling, on 14 November 2012. This is a big day in my life.

However, I must be honest--with you and with myself. I do not think I have journaled as deeply as I could--even the last 2.5 weeks. This needs to change. I think I have finally started the process as my eyes were opened as I wrote this blog post.

Here is another confession. I do not journal as much as I would prefer or as much as I need each day. and, often times, I forget to take my own advice... And, I get sidetracked and distracted too often.

The last year, as a matter of fact, I have done mostly--nothing but spin my wheels. In many ways, I think I wasted the last year. (Ouch.)

I've tried to make several things work that haven't. (Then again, that
could really be said about the last four years. Another ouch.)

So, what now?

Do I kick myself? Do I hold this over my own head? My answer: No and no. What good would that do? Can I change the past? Nope. However, I can sure change the present--and plan for the future. I will analyze things a lot more for a while and see how it could have been avoided and what to change. I will share my new wisdom with you. And, I will carry on. I will make my dreams come true: To leave a legacy and live a memorable life. Every day. And, I will teach others to do the same.

Now, I will go back and re-read this blog post/journal entry a few more times and journal some more about it.

So, how about you? Have you ever thought you were aiming to make your dream come true, only to realize it was the wrong dream? And, do you journal as much, or as deeply as you should or want?

-- Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.)