Counting My Blessings for My Marriage

When my husband, B and I married, we didn't do the traditional marriage vows. However, we sure thought of them and still do to this day. The part "for better and for worse" part, along with the "love keeps no record of wrongs" and "love bears all" parts in 1 Corinthians 13 meant and mean something to us.

Words have meaning. Each word does.

We dissected the traditional wedding vows and the love verses to make sure we would live by them before we ever got married. And, we still reflect on them today. 'Are we living them?' is a question we constantly ask ourselves.

B and I made a vow to one another and to God. We know our marriage is a reflection of our relationship with the Lord.

We take our marriage seriously. It's not something that's flippant.

When we go through the hard times in life, which there are plenty, we cling to one another and to God. We do not allow division between us--B and I and God. We know that it takes all three to make this thing called life work, plus our marriage.

The little stuff in life, we keep little. We do not make a mountain out of a molehill. (Sorry to use a cliche. But, again, words have meaning--and this best illustrates the point I'm trying to make.) We have gone through so much in a few years past a decade--and we've learned to take things in stride. It does not help anything, or make things easier, to throw a fit, fight, and have division in our marriage when life sends us a challenge. (How ridiculous is that?)

Our challenges grow us.

Marriage is meant to help carry one another's burdens and that sure makes things easier and more meaningful.

We have a good marriage because it's something we work on. We make it worth the effort. We refuse to hold the past against one another and to try to make the best of our situation, one another, our faith, and our marriage today.

In our marriage, there is a word we try to never use. "I." Rather, it's "We." Marriage cannot ever be self-serving. It has to be we-centered. and, by golly, God better be the first in the equation on both parts.

Marriage takes on a whole new level when you live in this manner: "Always give thanks--no matter what." Always give thanks, even for the challenges. Always give thanks to one another. Always give thanks how life is a journey meant to be shared together. Always give thanks--for God is the reason for everything. It is, after all, all about Him--and not about us.

God, thank You for helping us center our marriage on You, not on each other, and surely not on circumstances or emotion.

Lord, thank You for all the bends in the road, the life challenges You've sent our way over the last few weeks, never mind the last two years. To YOU be the glory in all of it. It's all about You and Your perfect plan.

(Top image credit: Microsoft images online 2008-2014.)

Life's Difficulties and Challenges: 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Life's Difficulties and Challenges: 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 / The Message (MSG)
3-5 All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. 

-- MSG: Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

Psalm 91: A Psalm for Life's Challenges and for Perspective

Read it here:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ps+91&version=MSG

A Warning to Journalkeepers: Keep Journaling and Be Blessed

Note: Even if you are not going through a hard time in your life or in your journaling, read this blog post. You need to know what to do and expect when it happens. I guarantee. It will happen. 

There will be times when you go through challenges in your life. Things pop up and you can't journal or write--or do either like you would prefer. You're too busy trying to get through the challenge. 

Or, journaling might lose its appeal for a while.

Or, you might get too busy to journal. 

Tragedy also might happen.

Take all of these for what they are. Each of these things is meant to keep you from journaling or journaling as deeply as you should. 

What this usually means is you've struck a chord. You are on the precipice of something wonderful. you are on your way to a major breakthrough. Something amazing is about to happen. (I cannot stress this enough.) 

But, it will only happen, if you keep journaling. 

Granted, you might not want to journal. Or, you might be too busy putting out fires to be able to journal. Or, your journaling might be trash (in your opinion, but not in reality) and not what it could be. 

Whatever you, do not ever stop journaling. That's your biggest mistake if you do. You will lose your rhythm and your train of thought. The breakthrough will be hindered and halted. In fact, it might pass you by because you didn't seize the moment. 

So, whatever you do, KEEP JOURNALING. Do not stop. Ever. 

In fact, during these times, journal more. If you journal more trash than anything, it's okay. Even the trash will be useful to you later. Trust me. Persevere. 

Keep journaling.

And, add a comment to any blog post -or get on my Google+ community and say, "Help! I am struggling." Let the community rally behind you. We can encourage you and help you through whatever you are dealing with.

Give your journal a chance.

Give us a chance.

And, great things will happen. 

They really will. You will be greatly blessed. 

~ Stacy Duplease

Journalkeeper

Ever had one of those days?: My Personal Journaling

First of all, last night, I went to bed early because I felt like I was trying to get sick and wanted to fight it off. Then, for the fifth night in a row, I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and could not get back to sleep. fun.

I guess I should mention I got some really bad news last night, too, that I am trying to take in stride, but I am concerned and a little upset and am trying to figure out how I really feel about it--other than a little deflated. Once I work through the emotion, the logic will come. Unknowns are a little scary and bothersome at times.

Then, I got some bad news from someone close to me today and I wish I could give her a hug. But, we're thousands of miles apart. February cannot get here soon enough in that regard. 

Then, I went to run errands with husband--and we hit a bird! Hate that. It was upsetting. We are pretty sure it didn't make it. Sad. Yuck.

Then, I got home and our poor beagle had an accident in the house  he's our geriatric beagle, so what do you do--other than love him? 

Consequently, it's been a yucky day at moments.

But, I got more journaling and writing done in an hour and a half than I have gotten done the last five days. There is my blessing of the day... along with the precious time spent with my husband running errands. 

Journaling on yucky days sure helps. 

What do you do on those yucky days? 

Stacy Duplease

Journalkeeper & Author

My Storykeeper Odyssey in 2013: Journaling & Memoir

Email: storykeeper2121@gmail.com

Bookstore: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hisfiction

dba Remembering Your Present, LLC & Storykeeper 2121

Journaling when the unthinkable happens

You just got really bad news of some type--or something bad just happened--what-do-you-do?

What do you do when the unthinkable happens? What do you do when something so horrible that it's beyond your comprehension happens?

The answer is this: grieve and journal.

Then, when all else fails, journal. 

And, when you think you are doing better, journal.

And, when you have a relapse and it feels like it's happening all over again, journal.

Journal through the tough time. That's when journaling is the most important and the most useful to you.

And, whatever you do, NEVER delete  throw away, burn, or destroy these journals or journal entries. Keep them. They will be useful to you later to look at, evaluate, and see how you overcame. (Never mind how journaling helps you in the moment.)

Just journal.

You will get through this. You will. One breath at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. You will get through. 

~ Stacy Duplease

Journalkeeper, Writer, & Blogger

Journaling and Therapy (or Counseling): Journaling through life's challenges

Most counselors would be put out of business if people journaled--or journaled more.

Just a thought.

Why do I say this? 

If we journaled through our emotion so we could reach rational thinking, we wouldn't explode at people in rage, say something stupid,  do something we regret, or break down. Journaling gives us a safe avenue to get out our emotions. Then, when we work through our emotion, we can see things clearer and with a fresh perspective. We then have insight as to how to overcome our challenge and can then see the light shine through the clouds. 

Journaling through a problem is the best way to live--and it will help us avoid some of our problems and tough times. 

But, in those instances, when the tough times come, and we cannot do anything to stop those times, journaling helps us get to the other side so we can live again and move on--stronger than before. 

We may find at the time that journaling does not help. Inf act, it can make things worse for a bit. But, it will help. We are just in the rawness of the experience. We are hurting and cannot see clearly yet. In hours, days, or weeks, we will--and we will see that journaling helped us through in a way nothing else has or can.

I guarantee this. EVERY time I have had a rough time in my life, journaling has helped. EVERY time. Without fail. 

Look at this week for me. The shooting at Sandy Hook reminded me of how my cousin was shot and murdered. I have come through it--thanks to my journaling and working through my yuck so my yuck doesn't work on me later. (In other words, I dealt with the issue, so it didn't deal with me later.) I headed the yuck straight on. I didn't have to go anywhere else for the answers. Most often, the answer is time and a new/fresh perspective. Do I still hurt? You bet. But, I can approach the pain differently. I have a clear head because I dealt with emotion and found the logic. My pain is now a companion and not an enemy. 

Since I journaled, I was able to work through, and deal with what I was feeling, a great deal quicker than I would have otherwise. 

That being said  there are times it is essential to talk with the professionals. If there are ever feelings of suicide or homicide, it's critical to seek advice from the professionals immediately. This is also true when we cannot see our way through the yuck on our own. Another point-of-view can help. 

Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

The Remembering Your Present Journal Keeping Series

Email: storykeeper2121@gmail.com

Bookstore: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hisfiction

dba Remembering Your Present, LLC & Storykeeper 2121

Journaling through the tough stuff of life: A Journaling Exercise

I do not know about you, but I've been in a funk ever since I heard about the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. I've been in mourning and grieving for family I do not know. I count them as family because we live in the same country, the USA. (We are supposed to be united, after all.) 

You also might have noticed how I have received pinpointed point-of-view--where I have analyzed my life, along with that of our nation. (That will be talked more about on a later day.) But, I also haven't talked much about journaling. Sure. I took some time off to do nothing but pray and journal. But, I haven't talked much about how to journal or how to journal through, most importantly, hard and unfathomable times like this. 

What do you do when something so awful and nightmarish happened that you do not have the words, let alone the comprehension of the situation? How do you handle when the unspeakable happens? How do you handle when real-life is worse than the stuff in nightmares?

How do you handle the tough stuff of life? 

The answer is simple: You journal.

I am sure you noticed that was my first inclination after I received the news about Sandy Hook. I immediately went to my blog and said I was shutting down to pray and journal for the day.

That is precisely what I did. 

And that is what I did all day and night Friday. 

The weekend was full of stuff to do. But, the radio was on all the time, playing in the background. I was in a funk all weekend, needless to say. And it carried through yesterday as well. Yesterday was another day for me to journal and try to process what happened, my reaction to it, and what it meant in my life. 

Yesterday, I kept flashing back to Shar's shooting when she was murdered. I also kept thinking of Columbine--and the students I knew who were there that day. I also cannot help but think of the Memorial Service of Columbine--and that of Shar's. Then, that reminds me of the Aurora Movie Theater Shooting. My husband and I spend two weeks back home in Colorado and were by that theater three times or more. I even knew a couple fo people who were going to go see the movie that night, but didn't go. 

Flashbacks. The sense of loss. Mourning. Praying. Trying to find my way.

Today, I am coming out of the funk. I am no longer just going through the motions. I am coming back to life. But, I still realize I have a lot of journaling to do. A lot, a lot, a lot. A lot. 

So, how do you journal through the tough stuff of life?

JOURNALING THROUGH THE TOUGH STUFF OF LIFE

When the unthinkable, unspeakable happens, first turn to God in prayer. Then, turn to God and pray in your journal, if you are a Christian. If you are not, turn to your journal anyway and do whatever spiritual thing that brings you comfort. 

How do you do this?

JOURNALING EXERCISE:

1 Grab your journal.

2 Write the time and date. 

3 Write what happened.

4 Throw-up on paper. Write everything, and I mean EVERY thing, that comes to mind. Put all the ugly stuff you have boiling up inside. Put it on the page so it doesn't have to spill forth on anything or anyone else. Get it out. Do this as long as it takes. Take minutes to hours to days to weeks or even months. Just make sure to get it all out and capture it on the page. 

How do you know when you get it all out? You don't feel like crying, smashing something, or yelling. You get to the point where you have a sense of peace--where you surely do not understand anything, but you can think clearly again. Keep throwing-up on paper until you get to this point. And, make sure to throw-up on paper again later if you feel like crying, smashing something, or yelling. 

5 When you come to the point that you feel a sense of peace and can think again, move to this step. Ask yourself what got to you so much? What caused the reaction in your? How did this impact you and why? Is there something you need to deal with? Did something from your past rise up and demand attention? Were you reminded of something? Spend a lot of time on this as wlel. Make sure to do lots of SOC (Stream of Consciousness) Journaling -where you write anything and everything that comes to mind. 

6 What emotions did you feel or are you feeling?

7 What keeps running through your mind?

8 What do you want to do in response? 

9 What should you do in response?

10 How has your life been changed because of this event?

11 What lessons have you learned?

12 What has God said to you through all of this?

13 What have you said to God? 

14 How can you help others through this--or a situation like this--now and/or later? 

15 What does this mean for your life in the future? How does this change things for you? 

16 Write a summary. 

17 Anything else you want to journal about regarding this situation. 

Do all of that and you will start to heal. 

~ Stacy Duplease

(Image Credit: Stacy Duplease.)