Mother's Day (and Father's Day) Insensitivity: A Day of Pain and Not Celebration for Some

This is a difficult blog post. I've written it several times and have then deleted it. But, the more I keep receiving blog posts in my email about Mother's Day, I decided I cannot wait any longer to broach the subject. This is to help others see another side of Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is a very painful day for five groups of people (not in any order--just numbered points):
1 Those who have lost their moms in the last year (or longer).
2 Those who do not know their mom or have a mom?
3 Those estranged from their mom.
4 Those who are infertile and can't be a mom.
5 Those who have lost a baby or child.

Please, Christians, Churches, and Bloggers, be very careful about capitalizing on this day. I understand one blog post on Mother's Day, but every day leading up to it--for a month? Talk about ripping open the sore over and over and over. Enough. I beg of you. Think.

It hurts.

Deeply.

Churches, please, offer a separate service where Mother's Day and Father's Day isn't mentioned. There are some of us who will not go to church because it is so painful to hear about. If there was a neutral service, so we can turn to God with others who are experiencing the same pain, it would be very beneficial. I don't like to ever feel like I can't go to church. Mother's Day and Father's Day are two days I cannot--and will not--unless it's neutral.

Bloggers, it's quite painful to have several emails I receive that have the mentioning of Mother's Day in them. Please be courteous and thoughtful about how painful this day can be.

People in general, don't wish everyone you see a Happy Mother's Day. What if that person cannot have a child? This hurts. (Or the other four reasons it's a painful day.)

Sorry to be harsh here, but this needs to be said. If you do not understand what I am saying, and I know there are some who just don't see the big deal, then trust me in this. It is. Just because you don't grasp it, it doesn't mean you aren't hurting another. I can't disappear for a month or two. I have to keep carrying on with life, but how can I when I am constantly being reminded of what I cannot have?

Just some thoughts from a fool, asking people to be a little more thoughtful and considerate for the pain people can cause others...

I am sorry for being so bah-humbug. I just ask you to think. That's all.

Does anyone else know what I mean?

Ugh. What a tough blog post. Blah.

(Image Credit: Microsoft images online 2008-2014.)

Updated on May/03/2014

Christmas (Gift) Journaling: Part 2

PART 1

Make sure to read Part 1 before you read this blog post. you can find Part 1 at: http://storykeeper2121.blogspot.com/2012/11/christmas-journaling-or-birthday.html

IT GOES BY DIFFERENT NAMES

Please note that this journaling type goes by several different names: Special Person Journaling, Gift Journaling, Holiday Journaling, etc. They are actually all the same type of journaling.However, I will refer to it as Gift Journaling in this blog post.

THE COST OF A GIFT JOURNAL

It's making a journal about another person and giving it to them as a gift. 

Gift Journaling is free to make, but is absolutely priceless. (Note: It's free to make if you give the journal as a digital file over the internet--like in an attachment in an email or something like it. However, even if you give them a paper version of this journal, it is as expensive as you choose to make it, but is still priceless.)

FUTURE JOURNALING IDEAS

The beauty about Gift Journaling is that as you journal about that Special Person, you will most likely come up with more ideas you want to journal about in the future. (Hence, make sure to make note of Future Journaling--and even add it to your Future Journaling List.)

BETTERMENT AND LEGACY

As you do the journaling for the special person in your life, you are digging more into yourself, your life, and your life story. In doing so, it's actually a bit for yourself as well. After all, the journaling you do is for your betterment and pleasure, but it also helps you too add to the legacy you leave behind. Also, in doing so, you create a legacy for them to leave behind. (Therefore, make sure to keep a copy of this Gift Journal) for yourself as well.) 

KEEPING A JOURNAL FOR SOMEONE ELSE

After all, how many people of the special people in your life actually journal? I guarantee, if not none do. Hence, how special it will be for you to give to them. And, if they do journal, again, what a special gift because it is from your eyes, your your point of-view, your heart, your emotions, your thoughts, your spirit. There is nothing more of a treasure, more cherishable, more of a present than that. 

There's nothing more valuable than Gift Journaling. 

IT'S ONE-OF-A-KIND

It's also one of a kind. It will be a very unique, heartwarming gift. The Gift Journal is highly personalized and is made just for them. 

FRONT PAGE MATERIAL FOR THE GIFT JOURNAL

Write a letter to the special person the journal is for. Let them know why you made it in the first place and are giving it to them.

Also, say something to the effect of, "Use me as a pick-me-up for those days when you need one. Or encouragement. Or just to remember."

SO, HOW SHOULD YOU GIVE IT TO THEM:

HOW TO PACKAGE AND PRESENT THE GIFT JOURNAL

First of all, and most importantly, give it to them in both a paper and in a digital/electronic file. 

One, they can look at it and touch with their hands. The other is a present they can never lose, is a permanent form of journal, and is easy to pass on as a legacy.

Consequently, there are two forms to give it to them:

~ Digital/Electronically

~ Paper

Digital Gift Journals

~ Do a word processing document. 

Do several different fonts, ink colors, etc. Have fun with it. 

~ Do a digital scrapbook.

Check out this website: http://www.mymemories.com/ and their digital scrapbooking software at: http://www.mymemories.com/digital_scrapbooking_software. Send them the pdf file. 

Then, send either one via email.

Paper Gift Journals

~ 3-Ring Binder

Decorate the binder with material or scrapbook paper. Maybe with some stickers. Print the guts of the binder with colored ink and maybe special paper (colored or other stationary or specially printed paper).

~ Digital Scrapbook and Print It Out (paper and digital... both.)

Check out this website: http://www.mymemories.com/ and their digital scrapbooking software at: http://www.mymemories.com/digital_scrapbooking_software

~ Scrapbook

WHERE TO PRINT DIGITAL SCRAPBOOK OUTSIDE OF HOME

~ Local Printer
Look up in your local phone book and call around. You will then need to figure out how to bind it. I recommend doing a plastic binding. Your printer can do that for you as well.

~Shutterfly:

http://www.shutterfly.com/learn/digital_scrapbook.jsp

~ Scrapping Simply

http://www.scrappingsimply.com/

~ Top 10 Review Site

http://scrapbook-printing-services-review.toptenreviews.com/

Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

The Remembering Your Present Journal Keeping Series

Email: storykeeper2121@gmail.com

Bookstore: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hisfiction

dba Remembering Your Present, LLC & Storykeeper 2121

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.) 

Christmas Journaling: Part 1 (or Birthday, Anniversary, or Valentine) (AKA Special People Journaling)

THE IDEA OF SPECIAL PEOPLE JOURNALING, GIFT JOURNALING, OR SPECIAL OCCASION JOURNALING

I just came up with a wonderful idea to give the special people in your life. (And, I am quite excited about it!) It can be used for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents' Day,  or any other special day you decide. 

WHAT IS IT?

So, what is it? It's putting together a journal of your journaling about them--and giving it to them as a gift. This also becomes a legacy for them to leave behind. And, make sure to keep a copy for yourself and your legacy. 

HOW DO YOU DO SPECIAL PEOPLE JOURNALING?

~ 1st, make a list of the special people in your life. List all of them. In time, do a Special Journaling for all of them.

~ Put them in priority/sequential order.

~ Think of the dates that you would like to give each person their Special Journal and write those beside each person in the next year. Then, do the math and write how many days you have until that date on the same line. 

~ For Christmas 2012 Journaling, since it is the 29th of November already, I recommend taking your top 3 or 4. Then, do a more extensive journal on them for next year as well. In fact, you might make it a Christmas Tradition. Also, I would think of taking another 3 or 4 and do a Special Journaling for them each year. Make it a tradition. For spouses and children, I would do this several times a year and at New Years or Christmas, I would combine the previous year into one big special journal--and add additional material. For aging parents and grandparents, I would do this a couple times a year as well. 

~ Do one person at a time.

~ Figure out how many days you have for that individual between now and the time you want to give them the journal. Then, do as many 10-minute chunks of journaling (the below journaling exercise) as you can. Put these on your planner to do in at least monthlysegments, if not every week or couple of days or so.

SPECIAL PEOPLE JOURNALING EXERCISE

Do the following in at least 10-minute segments (chunks) each--and do them as often as you can until you want to present them with the journal as a gift. Set a timer.

Make sure to do a SOC on each of the below items, make lists, and  so on. Of each item below, do a journaling entry on each of the things you listed.

~ Do a SOC (Stream of Consciousness) Journaling about them. Who are they to you and in your life?

~ When you think of them, what do you think of?

~ What qualities do they have that you love?

~ What memories have you made with them--recently and in the past? (Make sure to make an extensive list of each.)

~ What have they taught you?

~ What have they meant to you?

~ How have they shaped you to be the person you are?

~ If you could tell them anything right now, what would it be?

~ What does their home mean to you? 

~ Use your 5-senses and journal about them.

~ Make a list of items in their home, things in their wardrobe, meals they cook, places you go with them (or have , etc. Do 10-minutes journaling chunks--SOCs or lists--about as many of these items as you can.

~ Look at photos you have of them and journal about the memories behind each photograph.

~ Journal about anything else that comes to mind. 

TIP: Make sure to do the above items over and over--seeing what new ideas come to mind. Make sure to journal about each point you write about each item. Do that as many times as you can as well. 

TIP: Keep in mind that if any other thoughts or memories come to mind about that person, you get it in your journal. 

CHRISTMAS 2012 JOURNALING TIP: Take the top three or four people in your life tops and do the above items. Make sure to figure out your calendar and how much time you will need in order to do this for each person on your list. You also might think of doing this for New Years and Valentines. 

What a special gift to give the special people in your life. Talk about personal and memorable. 

Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

The Remembering Your Present Journal Keeping Series

Email: storykeeper2121@gmail.com

Bookstore: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hisfiction

dba Remembering Your Present, LLC & Storykeeper 2121

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.)