Senselessness

I know firsthand what it is like to have your family become national news. I also know what it's like to make national news because a loved one was shot and killed by evil. I also know what it's like to experience this before Christmas. 09 December 1998 is a date I will never forget. Those three things happened to my family on 09 December 1998. 

So, you see, Sandy Hook is terrible as it is. But, when you can relate to what they are going through (while not exactly because they are different incidents and we all grieve differently), it makes it even more personal.

What happened at Sandy Hook is the nightmare of nightmares. It shows the depravity of mankind and the power of evil. 

I know what it's like to question why--and to realize the answers will never come in this life. One day, though, if we make it to eternity and heaven, things will make more sense then. But, not until then. 

All the other questions play with your mind and plague you. 

The stupid things people do and say. "Time heals all wounds " is my personal favorite (not!). Looking back at Shar's death 14 years later, after Sandy Hook, the pain is just as raw and fresh as it was then. I just know how to deal with it differently now. My coping mechanisms have improved since that terrible day. I guess you could say that the pain has become a companion and friend, not an enemy.

I no longer fight the pain. I know to acknowledge it, feel it, and consciously work through it now. It's a skill I've learned since then.

Christmas is difficult afterward such a senseless tragedy, I will not lie. But, it's become even more meaningful to me. I know what it's like to lose someone you care for before Christmas. Murder makes it more difficult. But, it sure makes you hold onto who you have, what you have, and where you are--once you sort through the pain for a bit. 

That is why I am spending this week in mourning. It's because I know, somewhat, what the friends, families, and victims of the Sandy Hook Shooting are going through. It, too, has stirred up my own stuff. I will walk with them through their pain--because I know. I really do. 

JOURNALING EXERCISE:

What has the Sandy Hook Shootings stirred up in your own life? (After all, you do not have to experience something personally to imagine the pain someone else goes through--and this can stir up stuff in your own life.) 

~ Stacy Duplease

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.) 

Forever Changed, Always Remembered

There are dates, remembrances, experiences, and memories that are permanently stamped in my life. I do not know about you. Friday, 14 December 2012 is another one in my life. This was the day of Sandy Hook.

There are also times when you know your life is forever changed because of that moment--and it will always be remembered. 

The Sandy Hook Elementary school Shooting and Massacre is another one of this times. 

The children, and adults who died, are forever stamped in my heart. I will not forget them. Ever. 

This week will be a week spent in mourning of them--and remembering them. I refuse to go around or be happy-go-lucky, joy-joy-joy because it's the week before Christmas. Celebration of the birth of my Savior, Jesus Christ, is next week. Not this week. 

There are parents who will never see their children again. Spouses who no longer have their loved one by their side. Families and friends are experiencing loss. This makes my heart ache. 

I want the loved ones of those lost on Friday--and of those who experienced the shootings--to know that I refuse to let them walk this alone. I may not know them, but they are souls. They are my fellow Americans--and that makes them family. 

How can we celebrate and pretend like nothing happened? Is it just because it didn't happen to us, if we do? If so, we are far worse than I knew as a nation. 

Again, it amazes me how few blogs have stopped and mourned what happened. How can this be? When did we become some cold and calloused? When did we become so uncaring? 

I refuse to be glued to the TV. I will mourn in my own way. 

I refuse to live in denial and carry on like nothing has happened. It has. 

My blog posts this week will focus on dealing with loss, mourning/grieving, and how it changes us (or at least it should). 

This week will be a heavy week. But, it will make us appreciate even more why Jesus Christ was born and what He did for us--next week. 

On Friday, I heard a wise quote that I am going to live by from now on:

Silence is the enemy of healing. 

That is why this week will be a week of journaling about loss and how loss shapes and transforms our lives. 

Silence is the enemy of healing. 

How profound. 

That quote stopped my in my tracks, so to speak. 

I refuse to be silent. I want to heal. I want to help others heal as well.

Is this our problem in the USA? Have we been silent for too long? Have we been so silent, we haven't healed? 

Let's not be silent. Let us do more journaling than we ever have in our lives this week. Let us stop our silence--and do so on the page. 

Sandy Hook, you are remembered. We have been forever changed because of what happened to you. We want to support you and we mourn your loss. While we cannot imagine what you are going through, we are here for you. We refuse to go on like nothing happened. We will remember. We will not allow any of this to be in vain. We will mourn with you and remember every 14 December from now on. God bless you. 

~ Stacy Duplease

(Image Credit: Stacy Duplease. 2012.)